Finally?

So, it's finally happened. After Josh texted me for the umpteenth time to ask me how i was doing. I finally tell him he sucks for never asking me out. After a string of texts, I end up asking HIM out to an improv show. He gives me the 'let me check my calendar and I'll definitely let you know'. What the fuck? Even when I make myself look like an idiot and ask you out, you still give me the shitty 'check my schedule' answer. Just check your schedule NOW and tell me you asswipe! He finally agrees. So a week later, the day of the show, I ask him if we were still on. ....No response. He completely stands me up and I cannot for the life of me understand why. What is the obsession with men stringing women along only to drop off the face of this earth?! This is insane.

On another note, on a random day, an English guy emailed me on match after I had been inactive with my account for nearly a month. It was a very flattering email and quite witty even, so I messaged back. He didn't look too cute but I wasn't too fussy about it. After a few exchanges we finally met up during a week I had the date with Josh and another date from OKC lined up. That guy blew me off and of course Josh stood me up. Malcolm(the brit) was the only one I went out with that week...and I was actually pretty glad.

He's extremely intelligent, which can sometimes be overwhelming. He's really sweet and at times, boyish. He's really witty in the most subtle of ways and I enjoy his sense of humor (and vice versa I hope). On my first date with him how he felt the date was going and he told me he was content to close his Match account right there. I've heard enough complimentary things from jerkoffs to know not to take this too seriously. I met up with him again on Friday, and then he cooked for me the next Tuesday before I went to live on a farm on PA for a few days. We er, consummated our romantic feelings for a lack of a better term. We hung out again 2 days ago and he told me that he didn't want to freak me out but he basically set his account to invisible mode. I was flattered and somewhat glad, but a part of me felt like maybe we're moving too fast. Even Amber agrees. But it feels comfortable and right, so I don't mind it. Except I feel like he SHOULD go out and date others since he's only recently separated from his wife. Yes, he has a wife AND a 10 yr old son by another woman (his high school girlfriend), which is another reason why I feel like I don't want to rush into things. It kind of freaks me out that the one guy I really like after 2 yrs of dating is a guy with all this baggage.

I don't know, I'm just going to play this out to see what happens. I really hope it works out, but I've seen this stuff go to shit before and this isn't any different I guess.

Jay has finally moved to NY and I hardly even talk to him. I think I talk to him more when he was in LA which is very odd. Either way, after being with Malcolm I seem to have lost interest in most guys even if they're just platonic. It's weird. I also feel weird chatting with kristin or janie about my love life now because they're single and I hate talking about my love life to people who are single. I know when I was single I would get a little jealous of people talking about how excited they are about the guys in their lives when I had none.

I hate my job, and I wish I could just go to school and forget about work completely. I wish money wasn't such a factor in things.