I feel very emotionally detached from the guy. I try to bring myself to open up emotionally about my life to him, but it's always like pulling teeth for me. And then when I finally dive into it. He seems to regress to a child-like reaction, where he performs all the actions of someone he imagines to act out when they are showing sympathy. I mostly get a stroking of my head and a pouty-face. Which, really doesn't really give me any other (helpful) perspective, except my hair might look a tad bit more organized after. It almost feels like he's staring back at me emptily searching for a way to evoke some kind of real emotion out of himself. Or maybe he's just that disengaged. Maybe he doesn't actually care and would like to move on from the subject as quickly as possibly and go back to yogurt-eating, face-sucking, hand-holding originally scheduled program. This all feels like anti-climactic emotional masturbation. I keep groping for some kind of feedback/advice/perspective, and all I'm ever left with is embarrassment and this feeling of being unfulfilled.
When we first started, I thought this was a guy I could possibly fall in love with. But now I'm starting to back up a little and realize that he might be emotionally inept. But how can a person well up from a youtube video of a lion's reunion with his owners and not be able to articulate any sort of feeling? It isn't just this whole episode, it's also everyday. He mostly agrees with everything and never once tells me when he dislikes anything or if something annoys him. Everything is 'fine', or a good idea' but it's not like he actually carries any of those ideas out ever. So it's obviously not a good idea.
I'm not sure what to do or how to feel. I know we really like each other, we have a laugh, and we have fun together. But isn't there more to a relationship that just that? Don't we need some kind of foundation and emotional support of some kind? I mean, I feel like I'm emotionally stressed out a lot from taking on so many people's problems. I never confide in anyone (aside from Chris), but I let everyone confide in me. It's tiring. I always knew that if I were to ever fall in love with someone, he'd have to be able to commiserate and help me take on some of this emotional burden. I'd like to confide in him, I'd like to communicate and talk about some of the problems in my life together. Maybe vent sometime. I don't really ever vent. I'd like some emotional release too, like everyone else. Who is there to ever listen to me? And I don't just mean listen, because anyone can do that. I mean really engage. Genuinely care and connect. I try my hardest to do that for everyone, but I can't seem to have a boyfriend to do the same for me.
I don't know, I feel like I'm constantly annoyed at something when I'm in a relationship. I keep second-guessing everything. I'm so neurotic. Am I creating issues where there are none? Am I just really difficult? Either way, I'm starting to have doubts...and it really sucks.